Girls Like When You Have A Big Aggregate.

Yeah, so I'm in the city on Saturday afternoon for work. At the South St. Seaport and I'm doin' my thing workin' and all of a sudden "Harley Davidson" himself (Mickey Rourke) walks by with a his little entourage.

His entourage consisted of a beautiful skinny woman (an 8) with big shades (probably from the beating he laid on her the night before), 1 older guy who looked like his Daniel Baldwin, an old man, and a guy who was most likely his manager of sorts who looked like the Red Dragon from Made:

Rourke is on another planet. It seemed as though he was just being guided around with no clue what was going on. They were at the South St. Seaport, but Mickey didn't know where he was (and apparently didn't know he was headed there, because the Red Dragon told him "Ok now, Mickey, this is what's known as the South St. Seaport" as they passed. Mickey grunted in response. Then he proceeded to smoke 4 cigs back-to-back before going wherever he was going.

Next up, I saw Stanley Cup Champion Goalie Mike Richter.

No one recognized him except me.... he's no taller than 5'6''. He was the shit back in the day though. I yelled over to him, "AYYYYY" and put my hand to the sky.... he waved back.

I then saw a dead ringer for Shawn from Boy Meets World (Rider Strong). It may have actually been him (he's also 5'6''). The only reason I suspect it wasn't was because the girl he was with was hideous. Actually on second thought who the fuck is this guy? I'm sure he bangs ugly girls.

David Blaine walked by talking on his iPhone and I considered trying to take a quarter out of his ear, but I didn't have a quarter.

I did have gum, though, and was about to tell him he had dirty ears and pull the gum out and say enjoy the hannukah cookie, but something came over me (my Con-Science whatever that is).

Last, but certainly not least, Paulie from Rocky. PAULIE! FROM FUCKIN ROCKY! He's by far the best character from the series and a personal idol of mine. I saw him walk out of a building with a girl in her mid 20s on his arm (a solid 8.5) with short hair. So I turn to the people around me and go, "It's Paulie! It's Paulie!" They ask where and I turn and point as I continue to say "It's Paulie! It's Paulie!" (He was no more than 15 feet from me). He noticed that at least I was excited even if no one else really knew who he was so he proceeded to do this:

Yes. Paulie gave me international sign for "Put your dooks up." Having no dooks to put up, I said "I got fucking no dooks." He walked away and I said "Thanks, Paulie." I want to be Paulie. The mother fucker has not aged a day since 1976 (the year of Rocky 1), and my god his woman was gorgeous.

I guess it goes to show you: Girls Like When You Have A Big Aggregate.